Salted Chocolate Pretzel Bark

I write this post from the deepest, darkest depths of my sofa.

I'm wearing my fluffiest socks, I've dimmed the lights, lit the candles and I'm watching steam rise from a freshly brewed mug of black coffee.

There are only two things which could make this moment even more magical.

Jake Gyllenhaal and/or Salted Chocolate Pretzel Bark.









It's basically a salty-sweet lovers paradise.

Dark chocolate loaded with chopped peanuts and almonds, cracked pretzels, chewy fudge chunks and broken Oreo's, melted together and smashed into gnawable slabs.

I know, right. The ultimate sofa snuggling indulgence.

You're going to need:

500g good quality chocolate. It's kind of the main event here so choose wisely. I like Green & Black's  because you can monitor how bitter you go with the handy %'s. I use 300g 70% cocoa minimum and 200g of 37-32g milk chocolate to lighten it up a tad.
3/4 of a pack of Oreo's. What happens to that last quarter is totally up to you. *Wipes cookie crumbs from face and disposes of empty biscuit packet*
1/3 cup rosted, salted almonds
1/3 cup roasted, salted peanuts
1/3 cup fudge pieces (I get mine from here)
1 and 1/2 cups of salted pretzels
A sprinkle of sea salt

OK. Smash your pretzels. Blitz your nuts. Smush the Oreo's into halves and quarters.









Next up, pelt your chocolate with a rolling pin and melt it in a big bowl over a pan of simmering water. Avoid using a microwave if you can, this is good chocolate and accidentally frazzling it is a total cocoatrastrophe.

Trust me, I've bean there before.





Grab an every day shallow baking tray and line it with grease proof paper. When your chocolate has melted, pour it in and even out with a silicone spatula.



When you're happy, load it up, baby! I start with a layer of peanuts and almonds, followed by the Oreo's, pretzels and fudge chunks. When it looks good, I throw on the rest of the nuts and a sprinkle of flaked sea salt. Maldon is my most favourite brand.









Pop your tray straight into the fridge and leave it there until everything has set. I leave mine overnight but if you're really pushed for time, 3 to 4 hours should do the trick.

When it's ready, it should look a little something like this:

Exactly the same as before but a little chillier.



Select an instrument of mass destruction (hammer, rolling pin, knuckles & brute force) and break your bark into smaller slabs. For the more precise foodies among us, warm a sharp knife under hot water and cut fancy slithers of delicate perfection.

Personally, I prefer the mass destruction technique and end up with this:



Salty, rich chocolate rubble, spiked with sea salt and creamy fudge.





Grab your loot, wriggle your way into the sofa and have a beautiful weekend!

Salted Peanut & Chocolate Fudge Sundaes

When the time calls for a day in the kitchen, whipping this, chilling that, stirring furiously and watching the timer tick by, it had better be for something special.

I'm all for putting in the leg work when it comes to a show-stopper of a meal, but my favourite recipes tend to be as simple as they are delicious.

This, my friend, is exactly that. And it couldn't be more utterly satisfying.

 

Spoonful upon spoonful of ice cream drenched in warm peanut and chocolate sauce and crunchy peanuts makes this the ultimate after supper treat.

Nobody judges you for licking the bowl on this blog. Nobody at all.

To make two large sundaes you're going to need:

175ml double cream

100g smooth peanut butter

3 tablespoons golden syrup

150g chopped milk chocolate

4 scoops caramel ice cream

4 scoops chocolate ice cream

4 scoops vanilla ice cream

Big handful of salted peanuts, bashed into crumbs

In a saucepan over a low heat, add your cream, peanut butter, golden syrup and milk chocolate, stirring until totally combined.

When it's thick, glossy and 100% delicious, it's done. Simple as that.

Now go fetch your prettiest glasses.

Starting with the vanilla, layer your ice cream scoop on scoop (on scoop on scoop...)

When your glasses are full, drizzle over your chocolatey, peanuty sauce and quickly top with crushed peanuts. (I usually pop mine in a plastic bag and batter it with a rolling pin a few times - no washing up, no spilt nuts, no grumpy Charlotte. Win.)

And that is pretty much it.

Nestle down on a comfy chair, grab a loved one and chow down.

Just remember to jar your leftover fudge sauce, stow it away at the back of the fridge and keep it hidden away for a particularly rainy day.

 

I'll take mine smothered on toast and topped with chopped banana, please!

Baby Nutella Croissant Twirls

By now you should be fully aware of my steamy love affair with brunching.

On my quest to find the ultimate brunch time snack, I happen to have stumbled upon a recipe for a mini pain au chocolat slash buttery croissant stuffed with the holy grail of all breakfast condiments, Nutella.

After a little nip and tuck, I think i've got them just about spot on.

Serve them up on a Sunday afternoon with tea and finger sandwiches or grab a cuddle buddy and dive under the duvets with a plateful on a particularly naughty Saturday morning. No matter how you serve them, these decadent little beauties are sure to win you a bucket full of brownie points.

You know what I do with spare brownie points? I bake brownies. Then I eat them.

You'll need a total of three ingredients and twenty minutes to whip up a batch, so whack the oven up to 160C and get that booty into action. You've got yourself some serious eatin' to do, after all. To make around eighteen twirls, you'll need:

A few large scoops of Nutella (make sure it's at room temperature)

One sheet of ready-rolled puff pastry

One egg, beaten

Roll out your puff pastry on a chopping board and cut it into three long strips.

Then, cut your strips into nine mini rectangles.

Dollop a generous amount of Nutella on each rectangle and spread it out evenly.

When that's done, chop your rectangles diagonally into two long triangles.

Starting with the flat end, roll up your twists to the pointed tip.

Lightly press the point to the pastry and repeat with the rest of your twirls.

In a bowl beat your egg and coat your twists with a little of the liquid. This will help them turn golden brown and crispy, deliciously flaky and 100% drool-worthy.

Pop them in the oven for around 15 minutes, keeping a beady little eye on them throughout. When they're done, they should look a little bit like this.

And don't you dare leave them to cool.

In fact, if you find yourself without a burnt tongue at the end of your feast, consider it a failure on your part issued by none other than myself.

Baby Nutalla Croissant Twirls? Delicious.
Baby Nutalla Croissant Twirls hot from the oven oozing molten Nutella? Priceless.