Salted Chocolate Pretzel Bark

I write this post from the deepest, darkest depths of my sofa.

I'm wearing my fluffiest socks, I've dimmed the lights, lit the candles and I'm watching steam rise from a freshly brewed mug of black coffee.

There are only two things which could make this moment even more magical.

Jake Gyllenhaal and/or Salted Chocolate Pretzel Bark.









It's basically a salty-sweet lovers paradise.

Dark chocolate loaded with chopped peanuts and almonds, cracked pretzels, chewy fudge chunks and broken Oreo's, melted together and smashed into gnawable slabs.

I know, right. The ultimate sofa snuggling indulgence.

You're going to need:

500g good quality chocolate. It's kind of the main event here so choose wisely. I like Green & Black's  because you can monitor how bitter you go with the handy %'s. I use 300g 70% cocoa minimum and 200g of 37-32g milk chocolate to lighten it up a tad.
3/4 of a pack of Oreo's. What happens to that last quarter is totally up to you. *Wipes cookie crumbs from face and disposes of empty biscuit packet*
1/3 cup rosted, salted almonds
1/3 cup roasted, salted peanuts
1/3 cup fudge pieces (I get mine from here)
1 and 1/2 cups of salted pretzels
A sprinkle of sea salt

OK. Smash your pretzels. Blitz your nuts. Smush the Oreo's into halves and quarters.









Next up, pelt your chocolate with a rolling pin and melt it in a big bowl over a pan of simmering water. Avoid using a microwave if you can, this is good chocolate and accidentally frazzling it is a total cocoatrastrophe.

Trust me, I've bean there before.





Grab an every day shallow baking tray and line it with grease proof paper. When your chocolate has melted, pour it in and even out with a silicone spatula.



When you're happy, load it up, baby! I start with a layer of peanuts and almonds, followed by the Oreo's, pretzels and fudge chunks. When it looks good, I throw on the rest of the nuts and a sprinkle of flaked sea salt. Maldon is my most favourite brand.









Pop your tray straight into the fridge and leave it there until everything has set. I leave mine overnight but if you're really pushed for time, 3 to 4 hours should do the trick.

When it's ready, it should look a little something like this:

Exactly the same as before but a little chillier.



Select an instrument of mass destruction (hammer, rolling pin, knuckles & brute force) and break your bark into smaller slabs. For the more precise foodies among us, warm a sharp knife under hot water and cut fancy slithers of delicate perfection.

Personally, I prefer the mass destruction technique and end up with this:



Salty, rich chocolate rubble, spiked with sea salt and creamy fudge.





Grab your loot, wriggle your way into the sofa and have a beautiful weekend!

The Countryside Rehab

Last weekend I awoke to the Mac Daddy of all hangovers.

I rolled over, dry mouthed and bleary eyed, frantically searched the duvets for my iPhone, gulped down a pint of water & assessed my creative choice of sleepwear.

Fully prepared to surrender to my mattress for the day, I rolled over and saw this:

I immediately felt a pang of zen and everything (head included) felt better again. 

After another pint of water, paracetamol, ibuprofen, a resolve and a mug of sugary tea (kids, don't try this at home) I began to feel human again. The sun was shining and it soon became apparent that I was in dire need of a good Sunday lunch.

Naturally, this meant a trip to the countryside. The Boy and I hopped in the car, popped the roof and headed to the parentals house.

Ok, ok. We may or may not have made a quick stop-off for a spot of deep fried sustenance en route and that may or may not be a Sausage & Egg McMuffin.

We drove along happy and windswept, chatting about nothing all the way there.

Upon our arrival, we ditched our bags, jumped into wellies and set out into the sunlit fields in search of the family.

We met a little mother frog who was guarding her young spawn along the way.

But she hadn't seen them since feeding time for the fish earlier that morning. 

Just as we were nearing the paddock, K appeared in her glamourous truck!

We hopped on board and she took us out into one of the fields where M and C were hard at work. The roof of their horse shed had been blown away during the bad weather, so we shouted directions and to and fro'd until the mission was complete.

Worn out and starving, we finally sat down to Sunday lunch.

 

 

C served up roast beef and we piled our plates high with crispy roast potatoes, green veggies and yorkshire puddings.

I'm a firm believer that the human body includes a second stomach solely for the use of pudding, so I made sure I ate my fill of supper before the pie came out.

Normal and pudding tummies nice and full, we bounded in to the television room for rugby and homemade buttery flapjacks. (NB - I can always room for flapjacks).

And just as the sun began to set, we packed away our things and made our way back home. We cruised along with the roof down and heaters blowing all the way there.

 

I don't know quite what it is about the countryside that relaxes me so much, everything just seems a little slower out there. As much as I love London, it's nice to get away from the hustle and bustle of city life every now and then, even if it is just for roast beef and a cup of tea.

What are your plans this weekend? Make sure you let me know if you're heading anywhere lovely.

A Day Of Boats & Bruschetta

I'm a big fan of water. 

 

That said, I'm an even bigger fan of multi-million pound super-boats floating on top of water, even if they are docked up in not-so-sunny-Southampton just for the day.

That's exactly how I ended up on a road trip down South this weekend, on my way to check out the 2013 Southampton Boat Show. 

 

I know, I know. Cut-price waterproofs and dinghy's aren't everyones cup of tea. To be honest, they aren't really mine either. Even the chirpiest of sailors can get a little fidgety after browsing rope stalls after a few hours, but lets not forget the crown and glory of the event, the big boats. 

Now, I am not, not have I ever been a sailor. But, I do know a pretty boat when I see one. My particular fancy was called the Sunseeker Manhattan 55 and she was absolutely boat-iful. Sorry. I couldn't resist.

We were lucky enough to take a sneak peek inside her. Most of the boats had waiting lists as long as your forearm, but with this one we got a little bit lucky.

Sunseekers are the creme de la creme of the boating world, you see. Think of them like a Prada bag. They're stylish, timeless and above all, darn good lookin'.

Now, these babies don't come cheap. As soon as we hopped on board we were asked to put on a pair of fetching little fabric flaps to protect the gleaming white carpets.

I personally thought they complimented my outfit perfectly and slipped into them straight away.

The boy begged to differ but whatever, minger. I was on a boat bigger than my apartment! Nothing could get me down, not even an insult about my footwear.

This is what we found...

A comfortably sized living-room area to rival most London homes. Everything was neutral in colour, shiny and completely brand new. It was dreamy. 

Next up was the fully kitted kitchen which came fully equipped with all the trimmings. It had a dish washer for christ sake. My actual home doesn't even have one of those things.

We then made our way to the three (I repeat, three) bedrooms, all of which were spacious and comfortable. The beds were a little solid for my liking, but thats my one criticism. Everything else was just luxuriously beautiful.

The bathroom was so clean and new, you could lick the toilet seats. I'm not sure you would want to, but you definitely could.

Before we jumped ship, I had to have a quick go behind the wheel. I must say, I felt quite at home.

Even in my ridiculous shoe flaps!

We made our way up to the top deck for a quick titanic-esq moment before heading back down. The boy, a devout boat lover and diver since forever, was pretty much in his element.

 

I was equally as pleased with our find, but after all this fresh sea air, my mind had wandered elsewhere.

I was ready for home-time, gluten free bruschetta and snuggles on the sofa. As much as I love spending the day at sea, my home is firmly on solid ground. 

 

With avocados. Lots and lots of avocados.